Shocking Your Very Own Dutch Family

3 Fun Ways to Shock Your Very Own Dutch Family

Question 3.

If I wanted to shock a Dutch family, what are some methods you might suggest I employ?

Certainly, after spending less than a month in the Netherlands, I am a complete expert on this. I will share with you a few of my personal favorites, and I will hope that you will find some fun ones of your own.

The wonderful thing about Dutch culture is that they are less hesitant to tell you what they think than other cultures might be. The result of this is that I get to know which of my habits they find more unusual.

1. Do not carry an agenda. For a stronger reaction, frequently express the opinion that you are opposed to all forms of agendas.

Thus far, everyone I have met carries an agenda. Everyone. Adults and children alike. If a teacher asks a student to come talk to them at some point, they will both take out their agendas and compare. I am under the impression that agendas are even more important than bicycles.

People seem to like to plan things. They have scheduled programming, and if you say you are going, you are expected to arrive on time unless you have an excellent excuse. After planning, they enjoy writing down what they have planned. The most handy way to do this is with agendas. If we were practicing analogies, I might try: Tree: bark :: Dutch people: agendas.

2. Drink water.

My favorite way of doing this is by using the following order:

1. Obtain a glass of water. Keep it in your hand so that it is clearly yours.
2. Wait for someone to offer you a drink.
3. Show them you have a drink.
4. Wait for them to offer you a drink. They will now specify the choices as tea, coffee, milk, and juice. This seems to be true in almost every location, although school limits my choices to coffee, cappuccinos, hot chocolate, and about sixteen different types of tea. It's restrictive to say the least.
5. Again, assure them you have a drink.

What it is about water that does not qualify it as a drink, I may never know. Despite biking many many miles each day, I am clearly the only one carrying a water bottle.


3. Eat breakfast off of a paper towel. Ensure at least someone sees you doing this.

Each day, I eat my breakfast off of a paper towel. This means that I do not have to dirty a plate, and I can use the paper towel as a napkin while I eat.

Whenever someone sees me do this, he or she tries to impress upon me the concept of plates. People, according to my host family, ought to use plates. When I explain my theory, they explain that not only do they have plates, but they also have a dishwasher, making the cleansing of dishes a relatively painless process. This happens as often as I'm caught with my paper towel.

Because I'm an instigator, this has become something of a game for me. I could change my ways, but I could also keep a tally of how many lessons on plates I receive.